I'm going to be honest. Being a good dad and a good husband takes a ton of work for me. I watch some guys who seem to have "it" so much more naturally than I do. They are more tender, more aware, more compassionate, etc... You get the idea. I've realized that this is a weakness for me so I have to compensate with extreme discipline. This means several things: i invest 2-3 hours every saturday with my boys (boy's club), i have a date night every week with my wife (friday nights), i have a day off on Friday which we call family day, i hang with the boys one night a week so that stacie can invest in the lives of ladies from our church or just chill if she wants to. When I slack on my disciplines my relationships suffer.
Now there are two recent modifications to these disciplines that are impacting me... and hopefully my family.
Stacie and I are doing p90x together, trying to get in beach ready form for family vacation in May. :-) We are waking up at 5:30 together and then are finishing up at like 6:30/6:45. This gives me 45 minutes to make the boys breakfast and interact with them until 7:30a when I hop in the shower. I've started aiming to leave the house by about 7:55 so that I can do my time alone with God before starting my work by 9:00am. I shoot to by home 5:30p which gives me a solid 8.5 hours and then maybe an hour or so after the boys go to sleep in the evenings.
With this being said...
My modification of spending this morning time with the boys has given me another opportunity to invest in them and engage them before heading out to work for the day and it gives Stacie and extra 30-45 minutes to shower and get ready for the day.
Here is another big learning...
I still have to fight to be engaged with the boys when I am with them. I want to check my phone for messages, etc... I am striving with the help of God to make a concerted effort to be fully there with them. This maximizes the disciplines. What good are all these disciplines if I don't pour my heart into them. It's like going to the gym but not working out. It's like paying to go to a movie, but sleeping through it.
The bottom line...
Husbands, discipline yourself. Put your phone away or give it to your wife for that matter. Tell your work how far it can come and then give yourself to your family completely. Shift your mindset from I go to work and then I come home. Make your mindset "I go to the office to work on my job, I come home and work on the health of my family and my relationships." Put that husband and dad cap on when you walk in the door and engage your wife and kids! I promise your life will be better for it, and you will suffer if you neglect. I know from experience on both sides.
